Mighty Morphin Forgotten Failures 22: The Spit Flower

In this episode Kimberly and Tommy share a harrowing experience (watching Putties rough up Kimberly’s award-winning miniature parade float), which only deepens their burgeoning romance. We discuss how Angel Grove apparently hosts a nationally televised parade; the increasingly bold behavior of the Putties (appearing INSIDE the Gym and Juice — is nothing safe?), and Finster’s newest monster. a triumph of psycho-sexual imagery.

“Billy is up to his Billy fuckery as usual” – Lindsay

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Episode 49: ??????????????? (2013)

As Ep 50 approaches, Lindsay, Darrill and Awesome Mike chose this week’s movie via Random Movie Generator. And we won’t tell you what it is until you listen! Hint: It’s the greatest Danish superhero movie we’ve seen since Russian Terminator? And our greatest dubbed movie since Catman In Boxer’s Blow? And our greatest movie about people sneaking into a house full of weird plants, even better than Habitat? And our greatest movie where the hero gets beaten up by his gym teacher, even better than Habitat? Do you know what it is now? Huh do ya?

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Mighty Morphin Festive Failures: Alpha 5’s Magical Xmas

We watched Alpha 5’s Magical Xmas! How is this Christmas special so utterly terrible? It’s like Power Rangers for an audience of four-year-olds in 1890. Marvel as we discuss:

  • Alpha 5 and Zordon’s dreary home life
  • Speculations about Alpha 5’s religious beliefs
  • Alpha 5 selfishly makes Christmas all about himself. What a diva.
  • The Power Rangers are helping Santa? Helping him do what?
  • Zordon kidnaps children with a beam? That is how he cheers up Alpha 5?
  • Alpha 5 has magic powers to make things appear?
  • Can Alpha 5 taste cookies?
  • The children are released from their captivity by walking into a Stargate / Poltergeist mystic fog cloud doorway

And hear MikeD’s award-winning Alpha 5 impression!

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Mighty Morphin Forgotten Failures 21: Punks and Cannibalism

Big shakeup in Rita’s management team: Finster may be out of a job because Babboo created this week’s weapon, a potion turning Billy and Kimberly into those most hated of all creatures: Punks. MikeD, MikeR and Darrill were appalled at the depiction of punks, but were intrigued by a glimpse into Zordon’s past as a warrior not stuck in a tube, and terrified by the Terror Toad. He has a laser tongue thing AND an actual tongue! And why does Finster still have that pig in his office?

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Episode 48: Big Money Hustlas (2000)

The cameos burst forth in this tour de force debut from Insane Clown Posse’s cinematic department. Dolemite … Rerun … Mick Foley … the Misfits hanging out in a donut bar … not one but BOTH Jerky Boys … dinky 70s instrumental music looping behind every scene … brilliant characters like Green Willie, Lil’ Poot and Dr. Dinglenut … brilliant costumes made by reassembling costumes from Party City … Harland Williams at the height of his powers …

Yes, though not as artist and intellectual as Pootie Tang, Big Money Hustlas vastly exceeded our expectations.

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Mighty Morphin Forgotten Failures 20: Zords Out For Harambe

Spiders, statues, HipHopKido, and Billy’s new pet mouse add up to a somewhat nondescript episode.  Meanwhile Darrill, MikeD and MikeR discuss how the Green Ranger is like a relief pitcher, how the Black Ranger abandons his students to go relax in his car, and we finally come up with a T-shirt slogan.

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Episode 47: Cry Baby Lane (2000)

True 90s Kids rejoice! It’s the movie you think you saw on SNICK at Halloween 2000, but really you just heard people talking about it years later. As a movie, Cry Baby Lane is an excellent episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark, with 100% less Canadians. Worms! Wormholes! Funeral home guys! Jim Gaffigan! Spooky party jamz mix tapes! Country songs about megabytes!

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The Michael Caine Rambling Incoherently Episode

There are movies with excessive narration — there are movies with obnoxiously excessive narration — and at some point, it goes beyond narration into full-fledged DVD commentary. Watching Bullseye! for Episode 41, we were struck by Michael Caine’s bad American accent. And then by his bad Michael Caine impression. And then by how he would just not shut up. Enjoy! #blimey

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Mighty Morphin Forgotten Failures 19: The Turtle Traffic Light Monster

Babboo and Squatt continue undermining Finster with the glorious monster you see before you. Toka from Ninja Turtles II was cool, but he’d be cooler with a traffic light. Meanwhile Zordon teaches Trini the lore of the flowers of the Hope Mountains which helps because the turtle traffic light monster cursed her to run forever. Meanwhile Bulk and Skull are enslaved to a hot dog cart. Meanwhile MikeR has been playing NBA Jam. This episode brought to you by Microsoft Windows 95 classic  games!

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Episode 46: Don’t Be Scared (2006)

The credited director of Don’t Be Scared is Master P. Before watching, we figured a real director made the movie and then Master P took credit. After watching… we are sure Master P really directed this. It is that bad. There are at least three scenes where blood is located in the wrong place. Happy Halloween!

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